Aftermath
by Polinverse
Summary: The love of Surana's life lay dead and cold beyond her reach. In the aftermath of the Blight, Jowan promises to his old friend that he will stand in his stead. *COMPLETE*


There were no more words to be said. The love of her life lay dead and cold beyond her reach. No spell she could cast could bring him back; no potion she could brew could save him. Tomorrow the sun would rise, and never again would he stand upon the earth to greet it. Tomorrow could bring eternity crashing down upon her and she wouldn't care.

The elf mage sat upon the lakeside, her hair and clothes a tangled mess about her. She had neither spoken nor eaten in days. What sustenance her companions could force down her throat kept her barely just alive. The water before her was still as she was, and as cool.

Jowan sighed and sat down by her side.

"He's really gone, isn't he?"

Surana's face and body showed no sign of acknowledging him there.

"It's not fair."

She turned her face to look at Jowan. His dark hair fell over his brooding eyes, and his mouth was pulled down almost as if in a pout. Her eyes took in his expression, but if there was any recognition, she said nothing. Whatever she saw was something distant and far away and her mind ranged in happier times.

"It should have been me," he told her. "I should have taken that fall."

Surana's eyes looked straight through him again. More than once in his tormented evenings Jowan had wondered if it was perhaps that moment with her that had turned the tide. When her eyes looked into his and he had only seen peace and serenity and... acceptance. She had saved him once, believed in his potential for goodness even when all others, including himself, could no longer see a light. He felt as if a knife was cutting across his heart when he looked into her eyes now and saw only broken shadows.

"Come back to us," he pleaded to her, his voice low and tender. "Please come back."

But still she sat there, her face white and her eyes unmoving. Jowan took her face into his hands, gingerly, and tilted her head to look at him. Surana's blue eyes were clear and guileless, her skin cool and smooth. He looked down at her and breathed deeply, his hands carefully caressing her face, her chin, her cheek, her nose. He ran his fingers through her white hair and brushed back the strands that covered her dainty, pointed ears. He had not thought he would ever consider an elf beautiful before, but her soft spirit illuminated the world like the crescent moon in a starless sky.

"I know I'm not him," he said, "but let me take care of you. Everything he can't do, I'll do for him. Everything he would have said, I'll say in his place. Let me in, Surana. Let me take care of you for him."

Tears streamed down her face as he drew her to him and kissed her temples, and as he pulled back, her eyes focused on his for a moment. Hoping, daring, he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers, felt the coolness of her skin and tried to breath life back into her with his kiss. She warmed, slowly, and as he put his breathe into hers, he gradually felt her body soften in his arms. She yielded to him and trembled, and he pulled her tighter into his embrace. He held her pale hand in his, and looked again into her blue eyes. As he touched her, Jowan wondered if this feeling was love? He had thought what he felt for Lily was love, real love, but it turned out to be a lie. Had the elfin girl seen the truth of things, even then? Unbidden, the elf's words echoed in his ears: _"It's not about who loves you, Jowan. What we do, and do for others... whoever she is. She should love you for you who are."_ It had been so many years, and yet he could hear her shy, hesitant voice as if she had just spoken aloud.

"It's not just who you love," he realized, "It's how you love that defines who you are, too, isn't it? And love, real love, lasts a lifetime. Whether that life be a moment or... or a thousand years."

Tears ran unchecked down her face and he wiped them from her eyes. He brought his lips to hers again, giving her his warmth. "Let me take care of you," he whispered, over and over as he smoothed her hair and dried her eyes. He raised her hands and led her to the lake. He took off his tunic and dipped his clothes into the chill water. With care he unraveled the corset around her waist, freeing her string by string. Gently, he began rubbing the cold, wet clothe across her body; across the scars on her arms, the bruises and lacerations from their last battle. She shivered as he wiped the blood and dirt clean, the cold water raising goosebumps on her skin. He kissed her, again and again, each one an apology for the last. She shuddered slightly as he reached for her and brought her to the earth, his hands traveling over the curves and graces of her body, awakening her senses, piece by piece. She sighed as he pushed himself inside her, a lingering, gentle wave as he came and warmed her body with a buried passion and desire he had never known he could satisfy.

"I will love you," he promised her in the darkness as he held her trembling body tight. "For both his lifetime, and mine."

**End.**


End file.
